dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
