Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
