Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
my liver is dry heaving
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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