Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
