So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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