This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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