So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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