When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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