Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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