Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
