do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
