Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
