Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize