Will you blow on my dice?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
