how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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