I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
