Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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