I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My life is pants optional.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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