mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
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