Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
