So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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