it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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