Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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