Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
