I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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