they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize