He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
