Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
