How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
