That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize