I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
