Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we made out on top of his cat.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
