3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
