So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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