this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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