Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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