I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
