If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize