I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Shame - the story of my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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