dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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