ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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