The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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