you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
