Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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