Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
