U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
