this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
