fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
