Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
