He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She has the best kind of daddy issues
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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