Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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