Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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