you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Two words: blizzard sex
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
