Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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