so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
