spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
