Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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