it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
