this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize