They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
